|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| So I realize it's been something like a year and a half. I'm thinking to get back to this because of the simple fact that I don't know what I'm doing with myself any more but I know that I need to vent it somewhere that I know very few people if any will read it.
| | |
| At this point I haven't lost weight. I don't know if I have gained. And that's good. I used to think that all my problems were because of the way I looked. All my problems stemmed from the simple fact that I was 100 lbs overweight and fat. I was a fat ass... I really was, and it's ok for you to say that. But now I'm not that much of a fat ass anymore, and I'm still unhappy. I still have the same problems, I just don't have an excuse.
My anxiety attacks are starting to come back. What happened to me? Can I blame this on the holiday season? I don't have the time to be depressed either. I have to get things done for christmas. I have to make the necklaces monday/tuesday. I have to do a painting I agreed to. I need to finish a painting I have drawn up. I need to draw up two more. I need to work on figuring out how to freeze water. I need to work the bamboo I bought. I need to string the seashells I'm going to use. I need to find a tree root that I could use as a walking stick. I need to start carving. I have less than 2 weeks to do all this. If I'm lucking with the necklaces and the bamboo that will only be two days total. The carvings shouldn't take more than half a day total.
I'm whining again. Another feature of me that I don't like...
| | |
| I haven't lost any weight. I'm still around 201... But another 3 pounds in 3 weeks and I will be happy enough. Now 6 pounds in three weeks would put me on goal. Anything over 6 would make me happier as well. I haven't been as strick with my diet as I should've been and I haven't been working out as hard as I could. So when I step those two things up these last few weeks I should see decent results. Keep my intake under 1,500 while doing more weightlifting and punching bag.. Since I have time off for christmas coming up I should be able to make very good progress.
| | |
| So I got a compliment today that I wasn't expecting at all. Dad looks at me kind of funny, I thought he didn't like my shirt, and then he says "You're getting skinny." So, I'm back from japanese lesson... I'm going to to help my sister at 6 so that she can go to Kmart and spend her $30 gift certificate. I weighed in at 201 today. So no loss but no gains and that's what I really care about.
I realize people are tired of reading my goals, but I want to try the new year under 200. I would like to try the new year at about 195 but I'll settle for anything under 200 really. I only repeat myself as often as I do because I need the reminder. It helps me to focus on why I go for the walks I do, why I lift weights and why I don't eat more. Among other things, it also reminds me why I eat more healthy when I do eat. I haven't given up eating entirely, but I have given up a lot of the bad foods that I like. The only time McDonalds is going to get my business is when I buy a salad now. I can't afford to drink their drinks. Water if free and calorie free as well.
| | |
| Ok so it's been almost a week, and all the news I have is that I spent tonight with 4 of my best friends. It helped a lot to be surrounded by people who if not understood, atleast accepted my insanities.
I more than met my weekly weight loss goal. I wanted to be 203 by saturday. I was 201 when I woke up sunday. So now I'm aiming to be 200, by saturday. So right now I weigh 205, but that isn't a bad weight for the night time, after I have eaten, (it was the calorie heavy day in my cycle) and I've had a gallon of water. I'm probably going to wake up around 203 or 202, but I'm ok with that because like I said it was my heavy consumption day. Tomorrow and the day after will be lighter, and then Thanksgiving I will eat a heavy day again.
| | |
|
